My life isn't getting any better. I did not get my iphone 4 because it is out of stock in the whole Singapore and not even one knows when it will be restock. And no fucking reservations. My bill is a bomb, forever fucking high. Everyone knows that N is with him and NOT me with him, I am like the most stupidest girl ever. My life is always fucked up. One after another. What else do you want from me? Enough of making me the most stupidest girl, the most dumbest girl ever. You won okay? I gave up, you won this time round. Go to her, I am not a good girl for you alr. 

Wtf, I want to forget about everything that is happening. I am soooo god damn tired of everything. You did it again and again. And I believe again and again. What are you trying to do sia bibi? 

I am going out to get my iphone 4, hopefully my mum buys it for me. Bibi is coming along and he wants me to share my iphone 4 with him. Heh heh. I woke up very early today, like 7+am and I slept at 3+am yesterday. Now I am sooooo sleepy but iphone peh pasal sanggop stay awake.

Do you know that when a boy breaks a girl's heart, it's much, much, much more than you know it affected her? That her tears are not only to show how much it hurt but to at least try to blur out the world so she can forget? That she thinks every sleeping and waking moment what the hell did she did wrong? That when she looks at the photos of you with her, she tries to tear it but can't because they're very beautiful memories to keep? That she can't throw away the gifts and carefully preserved chocolate you gave her because you gave it to her? That whenever she thinks of the "I love you" words you told her, she mutters "I love you, too" but realizes she can't say it anymore? That it's like the whole world tumbling before her very eyes? NO. You don't know what it feels like. You don't know how it feels to be cheated, to be left, to be fooled. And it's taken very seriously because, once a girl loves, a girl really loves.

I want my bibi to read this.

I am so bored that is why I am updating again. What the fuck am I suppose to write? I am so hungry that I can eat my fingers off -_- I don't know what to eat also. My baby is working and it will only ends at 11pm. Which will confirm be extended to 12++ am. Sorry uh my English hancur, I lazy want to use proper English. My results will be out next month and I am not scared, lol. What am I suppose to write now? I want to highlight my hair but I don't know what color. Maybe not doing because want to next year alr. 

When I have kids in future, I want to tell my kids what baby did to me and what I did to him, lol. Confirm my kids think we bad. Jahat jahat pon tetap loving couple, right bi? I want a baby boy then a baby girl. So my baby boy can look after my baby girl. Okay why am I even talking about babies? 

Zomg, I am sooooooooo bored. My mum went to buy food. I'm having mac for dinner because I don't know what to eat alr. I want to go Europe now, but I am broke. I fucking don't have cash with me till next week. Now is like what? Wednesday? How long do I have to wait? 123456789 days. With no cash on you it is really depressing. Now I got mood to update blog but when I am busy my blog will be dead again. I love going out at night because the weather is awesome. Afternoon= freaking hot sun. Now I forced myself to bed at 12am but will only fall asleep at 3+am, pathetic bitch. 

There is this girl in my school who is fights with her boyfriend thru fb. Aww, so cute~ NOT. She will say bitch is a dog, dog bark, bark from tress and don't know what lame things she will say. And her language is like this. Qau taqmo plangai doq la whey, naq iqot aqu bbl. Something like that. I think I take like don't know how many minutes to read her unreadable-ridiculous-childish sentence. 

Long enough anot my post???? don't complain uh I tell you. This post will last you for how many weeks before my next update okay? Okay bye I love you bi.

Sorry for not updating this blog for a long time. Prom night was fun except that I was freezing inside, prom queen and prom king were awesome. Everything ended at 11pm, my baby drove me home. Some day ago, me, baby, Caca and her boyfriend went for karaoke at Cinie. My baby got hidden voice, lol. Then some day ago again we went riding with the rest, we went to a cemetery. I don't know what cemetery it is. Fucking scary ttm. The whole time I was looking at baby's helmet, lol. Oh and Tanjong Rhu the place so nice want you know you know. Now I have been staying at home ever since he is working, I am so bored that I can just jump out of my window. Okay lame. I am also broke at the same time. I want to work but I am so lazy to work. I am getting an Iphone 4  on Thursday. I am the most happiest little girl on Earth. My baby is getting his next month, why wait next month when I can get on Thursday? I can't upload prom pictures and I don't know why. When I got the mood to update my blog, my blog buat hal. nbcb.

I am bored like fuck. There is only my sister and me at home. Baby please bring me out. Okay bye love you.

To the bitch,

I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU  FUCKER. I DON'T NEED YOUR GUY LA. I HAVE MY OWN. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING OKAY BITCH? YOU LOVE HIM RIGHT? YOU TRUST HIM RIGHT? GO AHEAD LA FUCK. YOU THINK HE WON'T DO IT AGAIN RIGHT? HE JUST DID IT AGAIN TO ME LA FUCK. AND BTW, YOU ARE NOTHING TO HIM KAY ANOT. YOU FALL FOR HIS SWEET WORDS, I AM NOT GOING TO FALL FOR IT. GO AND USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN LA. WHY WANT TO INSULT ME AT HANIS? YOU GOT MY NUMBER WHAT. COME INSULT ME LA FUCK. NBCB FUCK ASS. EH YOU GO DIE ALSO GOOD LA. 

Girls stop impressing you when you're flirtin' with other girls.
Girls stop caring about you when you don't even give a fxck care about them.
Girls move on from you when she realised that you're treating her like shit.
& when she finds the right guy that cares and loves her for who she is, that's the time you're gonna realised that she's the one you need all along.

It is happening now.

I lazy want to update my blog now because I am very sleepy now. Left over pictures are up there. Went out with the best people of my life. I made V disappointed. H's girl firiend is a fucker and I hate her. Nb. I don't want him la, you go take him la because I'm not desperate like you whore. I finally bought my prom dress. Prom night is in 3 days. The 17th is in 2 days. I really hope Next year will be a better year because I fucked things up this year. I am still deciding if I should take this chance because you might just do it again. You can't ensure me you won't, right? Short post for now okay? I am seriously sleepy like fuck.

I'm back, did anyone miss me? Lol! V booked out on Tuesday afternoon and he did not, I repeat did not text or call me on the day he booked out despite telling him to do so. I called him at 12am or so but no response. According to him, he was damn fucking tired ttm to even do anything. He called me the next day at 4pm. Was a lil pissed of but at the same time happy to hear his voice again. He complained on the phone about his survival course and he fucking pass it!!!!!!!!! Decided to head to Bugis since he have been pestering me to go there with him. Then headed to Vivo to catch a movie. I fucking hate Vivo's cinema room or whatever shit you called that. Did not went home that day, slept at V's house. Ordered Mac breakfast and V is forever scolding me because I can't finish my food all the time. You can't blame me what. I still love you.

He wanted to bring me to Universal Studio on Thursday but I turn it down because I want to be with Kailin and Elina. Sweet anot!!??? V came along too. I forced him because of some reasons. Went to buy Kailin's dress then chill at Starbucks. Took 502 home. Chilled under some blocks before he send me home. He called me at night and asking me to come his house now because he wants me to put him to sleep -__- I said I don't want la. H texted me and I told V what he said to me. V was pissed of a lil, lol! Then I forced V to go to sleep since he needs to book in at 7.30am the next day. Hang up and H called, talked for awhile then I hang up on him. 

H, I love V now. So please don't ask me lame questions alr. You wanted her, I gave you up so that you can be with her. What else do you want? Don't worry, I won't busted my man like how you busted me. You don't trust him, but I do. After all It's me who is going to marry him not you. So please don't ask me lame questions if you still want us to be friends. You thought I could not forget you right? You thought it wrong. That very day I went out with V, he told me to tell everything that happen between me and H. I told him everything and I fucking cried while talking about you in front of  V. Like all guys, he told me the same thing you told me. But this time I knew his words were real unlike you. I will marry him, not now but some day. At least we have bright future. You? Don't bother telling. Take care. And fyi, I deleted every pictures I had with you in my computer and phone. See, this time it is for real.

I kept my blog dead for at least three weeks if I'm not wrong. Many things happen in that three weeks and if I had a chance I would seriously rewind time back and did it right again. So a little summary of what I did in the pass three weeks.

Let's call him 'V' for now. V booked in and stayed away from me for 2 fucking long weeks. Despite everything we still chatted on the phone whenever he is free. I told him what I am doing everyday for that two weeks. Okay, but he knows I was lying at some point of time. I still went out after midnight with H and others. And would only reach home in the morning. Eventho V did not mind that, I know he did not feel good about it but still I went against him and convincing him that nothing really happen. This went on for 2 long weeks before he booked out on the Thursday. Apparently I was suppose to fetch him from Yishun but I went out the night before and could not wake up to fetch him. I feel so bad, duh~ . V and myself went out only at 8pm that night and got ourselves home by morning. Oh and Joshua came awhile to pass some things to V. Without any sleep, I accompanied him to Lakeside to pay some bills before heading to Jurong Point for lunch. ( I would not have accompanied him if he is not my boyfriend because I would have priorities my sleep over friend.) Both of us was exhausted since we did not sleep the whole time and we decided to take the cab home( okay, I forced him to take the cab, because the only thing I want to do at that point of time is sleep.) When we reached home, used his computer for awhile before heading to bed at 2pm and he woke me up at 5pm. Send me home around 6+pm and did not go back to sleep because I was suppose to meet him at 11pm again but was dragged till 1am. H came along too and he taught me to ride, fucking scary. H went home earlier which left me and V alone. I was suppose to accompany him eat that morning but only three hours of sleep the day before, I could not be bother already. Sat under my block and I fall asleep on him. Went home, bath and without sleep, out to Jurong Point accompany him pay the bills again. Bid good bye to him before he went home and prepare to book in back. He send me to H block because I was suppose to meet him. Went home at 5+pm, took a long nap and V called saying that he is going to sleep because he will be doing his 27 hours exercise non-stop without food and very little drink soon. I hope he pass that test and after that course I hope he can do the 8am to 5pm. If he fails he needs to retake his 5 fucking long months course. Trust me, it is a torture because there is no guarantee he is able to book out every week. Been hoping that he passed and I hope nothing happens to him. I love you.

So I just woke up from my nap an hour or so. V hasn't contacted me since the last call and I promise myself not to go out after midnight already. I want to fetch V if he wants to book out on the weekends. But sadly he might not because he is too tired after the 27hours. Oh and, he will not contact me till Tuesday comes. So till then, I pray he will succeed in that and contact me asap.

No picture yet because I always says no when he ask to snap a picture of us. I don't know why I hate taking pictures with my boyfriend. Maybe H knows as he was irritated when I says no, lol. 

Been busy lately. Will update on Monday when he already book in. Meantime, this is for Hanis.

 Remember, I stayed no matter what happened.  No other girl will ever put up with all the shit you put me through.  Cause' I was strong enough to handle the pain just so I can keep you. Remember that.