Life don't always go as you plan

Hi, I had school till 5.30pm yesterday. Did not have morning lesson as my teacher cancel it. Went for the drugs talk at 12.15pm then went for practical. Had to stand on heels from 1pm to 6pm. I swear it was tirin but fun at the same time. Went home straight after that. Found out that hanis's girlfriend is in my school. Hi nasimah(: btw thanks for spreading it, I don't feel sad or anything because it's normal, really. Till i see you again I school. I did not have school today because my teacher is sick. I'm home alone and I am sloop bored. Watched LA ink and i feel like getting a tattoo too. If I ever decided to get one, I would put an eagle to remind me of my ex boyfriend who taught me many things. But i am still thinking because getting a tattoo is not the same as getting a piercing. I am getting piercing, two of them. Hip piercing and another one some where else, not telling where. Piercing is confirmed but I need money for it. I am accompanying my sister and elina to get their bursary tomorrow. Aww.. The two smart girl, heh heh^^

Your first everything on your 20th birthday

Hi, I'm bored and sleepy at the same time. I can't fall asleep even if I want to. I did not attend school because I overslept and wasted 30 bucks to get a MC at private clinic because I can't be bother to wait for countless of hour to take a MC at polyclinic. So I decided to waste 30 bucks to get a fake MC. 

I hate long hours lesson. I hate being in lecture. I hate hearing teacher's voice. I don't hate school, in fact I love school. I hate going home late all the time. I hate wearing a net on my head. I love long hours break. I love the food in school. I love sitting down at circle and gossip about others. I love how the girls in my class look like ballerina.

It's the 26th of April and it's Hanis 20th birthday. When the clock strike 12, I did not wish him. I told him its already 12 and he smiled. Then I wished and told him to make a wish. Be strong and don't talk nonsense already. Everyone else still cares about you, really. Get yourself into NS asap, please. I hate to see you doing so many jobs. Lastly, be happy no matter what happens. Remember what you promise me? Make sure you do it <3

I am so sleepy today. Might sleep early. There's school tomorrow ends school ends only at 6pm. I was suppose to meet A but I was too lazy as it was raining. Tomorrow maybe? 

Hi, I might not be blogging next week because my computer is currently down and school always ends late. So I'm taking the opportunity to update my blog. I went to town with firdaus, Fyqa and wanie. I cant upload pictures here, but pictures are in fb. I bought pink bag pack, pink sports shoe and black shoe bag. I love my pink bag so much, hahaha. Tomorrow I'm leaving my house at 630am because my sister scared of her teacher. Kental sia my sister, hahahaha. I'm otp with love. I'm typing while talking to love and i tend to type what he says, lol. Talk to you later uh, bye.

Hi, I'm blogging again. There isn't school on Thursday and Friday since there is world life going on. I went to school for only two days this week. Best or what? Hahaha. 

I accompanied Elina for F&B interview yesterday and guess what? She got in!!!!!!! She was fucking nervous and I was scared for her too. They rejected and accepted people on the spot and everyone can here it. I'm so happy that Elina got a school, like finally right???? After her interview, took my blouse and head home to eat. Elina stayed till 9pm. Talked about school and everything. 

Today is Friday and I might meet <3 today but I bet he went back to sleep after his phone died while we were talking earlier on. He told me he did not have school, haha! He cb, forever skipping school. Might go and buy my shoe bag today if  <3 could meet me later at night. See how's it going later when he is awake. 

Tomorrow heading out with some old friends. I forget where we are going already, lol! But I remember what time we are suppose to meet. 2pm at JE!!!! Hahaha! 

I'm very bored sitting at home. I love school very much. Had class photo on Wednesday with out formal uniform. Made new friends again. I love my class very much. I'm no longer an anti-social in my class. They thought I'm those quiet type but they found out I'm cheeky, lol! 

Bye.

"Tragedies happen. What are you going to do? Give up? Quit? No. I realized now that when your heart breaks you got to fight like hell to make sure you're still alive because you are. And that pain you feel? That's life. The cofusion and the fear? That's there to remind you that somewhere out there is something better and that something is worth fighting for."

- Nathan Scott.

This is to ones who kept the faith and believed that one day, things will be mended. Have him/her walk out of your life and when you have decided to heal, he/she walks back into your life and you accept him/her back because you just miss him/her so much. Then you just keep holding onto the pain, cos it's what's left, cos you know it's gonna hurt more when you lose it.

Have you ever thought about what he/she is doing? How can he/she stand not talking to you and you're killing to get a reply. At the end of the day, you give in and talk to him/her, only to find out he's/she's already got someone new to replace you. 

School.

A quick update before my computer dies on me again. School has been great and I have been looking forward for school everyday, really. Unlike secondary school, I have countless of long breaks. Despite wearing heels, stocking, hair tied in bun everyday, I still enjoys going to school. Mainly to see boys, the Chinese guys in school are the bomb, they are mother fucking hot plus cute plus dimples. Malay guys are mostly matreps -__- 

Guess why I'm blogging on a weekday which I was suppose to be in school studying? Nope, I did not skip school. There wasn't school for my whole class today. It's more then a good news already. My class went for a class outing today. My class bond THAT fast right? Heh heh. But I give the class outing a miss because I want to rest at home. 

I had a CPR course on Sunday and I fucking pass it. I saw some one who I don't wish to see. I did not want anything to happen, really. But it just happen. Because you made my Vinod leave me, remember? I loved him, will love him always. At least you know she will come back. But my Vinod will never be mine again. You think its my fault? Get my Vinod back to me. Its not fair, never.

My computer is being a bitch, really. Please behave la. I am not schooling today and I need you to kill my boredom. Oh btw! Elina got shortlisted to my course. Awwwww~ Fucking proud of her. She's on the phone with me. Screaming! She's fucking happy you know. I love her so much. Study hard okay????? 

Okay bye.

-I know lah susah, nobody said it was going to be easy either right? But you haveeee to try your hardest, if you don't, you're just going to keep staying in the past, like this. Stuck to him and hoping he'll come back to you and then when he's done with you, he throws you away like a thorn puppet. 

 You want that to happen for every year?

 No right?

 You want that kind of guy to be with you? Obviously no right?

Some one told me this, I feel like crying.

I forget to take a picture of  myself in my ite uniform. Nvm, there is still time. So how's school everyone? Mine was okay. It sucks the first few weeks, with the rules and everything. To be honest, the rules are very strict but I'm getting use to it. But it's cool now. I had a lesson yesterday and ended school early, headed home and went to bed. Today too. S took me to school and he finds my classroom for me, awwww~ School ended 9+am and a few of us went to see some competition. When I'm older, I want to be a bartender. They disallow girls to wear colored bra but my bra is all in colors, I don't have white. And its seen-able, but I'm not alone. Ended school with exchanging phone numbers and email addresses for facebook. I love how my class bonds so well. 

So Hanis while going home. Happy like fuck. He came over and something happen. Should not have done it, really. I feel so bad, hope he feels bad too. Oh btw, I hate your girlfriend, Nasimah. Really. 

Will be having a CPR test on Sunday and it is compulsory. It will be held at Expo, one end to the other. I think its for all the year 1 student. We will get a two year certificate. 

Bye.

 We were on and off for a whole year. I gave you everything I had. And you just walked away. You chose her, over me. You broke my heart into a million pieces. You took everything from me. My heart, my feelings, my happiness, my life. I am nothing without you. I just wish you were nothing without me.

Second day.

Today is the second day of school and it still sucks like yesterday but today is way better. If you think secondary school rules is strict try school Of hospitality. You have to bun your hair, no hair on the face, they will ask to clip it up or gel it up. The Guys witH fringe need to use Bobby pins. It's a must to wear stockings, make up, heels/flat. Tomorrow school starts at 9am and ends at 6pm. There are only three lessons tomorrow.

Sucks.

First day of school sucks. I had 3 hours or less then that of sleep. I hate the time before going to bed, everything keeps playing in my head like fuck. I want to move on but every night my brain torture me, how? It's 8.09pm and I manage not to contact him. I did had the urge to text him but when I think how happy he is with that girl, I told myself leave them alone. I'm a loser at relationship, really.

Waking up in the morning for school is not a torture, staying awake till 3.30pm is a torture. My sister and I are not in the same class, which sucks too. I made friend with a girl but she is in my sister's class, that sucks too. Oh, she's a twin btw. The younger one, me too. So nice to communicate to a twin because she knows how irritating it is when people ask if you are a twin. Isn't it obvious, you blind fuck? I don't want to make friends with the people in my class because they are all so kental. I want to be anti-social like Kailin. I hate my class but I love my CA because she's a Caucasian. I will be an anti-social girl for two years and not make friends with the people in my class.  My first day in school is a nightmare, I might just drop out. No, I won't. Saw a few familiar faces but I got no mood to talk to them. School so big but I can't be bother with the people there. I can't wait to deep in the school pool during PE. I love to swim.

Tomorrow is the second day of school and it is still orientation. Sucks to be a newbie. Need to wear white polo tee but there isn't any size. I hack care, I'm wearing what I wore to school just now. I want to sleep early so I can wake up tomorrow. I'll get a picture of myself in my uniform, see how small am I in it.

Bye.

Monday.

Tomorrow will be my first day in ite. First day wearing the uniform. I'm nervous and I don't want to go to school. I hope everyone is friendly there. Wanted Hanis to fetch me from school but he isn't free. Meeting Elina at town tomorrow after school. My mother say I look like small girl in ite uniform because I very short. 

After today everything changes. Thanks for everything. Thanks for the 3years. You have been the best. Please be good and don't get too obsess with your bike okay? Be with her if it makes you happy. I won't hate her anymore. I hope you two last as long as possible. I'll be alone after you're gone. I'll start anew in ite. I'll be good, I promise. 

Caca, look after him for me. Thanks. I'll miss CacaKimmy too. 

Hellooooooooooooo.

I went back to ITE cck to register everything and to buy my uniform. The PE shirt I bought is xxs and still very big. Oh and btw, my PE shirt is fucking ugly. I love my polo tee because it is small. I altered my skirt and will be collecting on Saturday. I'm wearing M for skirt, and it is still tight, lol! They said my course is one of the expensive courses. School will start on Monday. I hate orientation, can I don't go to school for the first three days? Hahaha. I very scared want to go ite, really. I hope I will be in the same class as my sister even thought she don't want to be in the same class as me. I can't wait for school to start. I hope Hanis can fetch me from school on the first day but he is working till 5pm. I wish everyone all the best for their first day in ite.

I created a new facebook because my previous facebook has been suspended. I created a new email address for my new facebook too. ritahunns@hotmail.com. 

I want to straight my hair back. I'm a happy girl alr, very happy girl. I love myself and btw I'm officially single but I'm still in love with Hanis, how? Hahaha. To tell the truth, I'm getting married to Taylor Lautner, really. Hanis is getting married to Miley Cyrus, his Mimi. 

Okay bye.

Again.

One is gone and the next is going too. I might just stay single this year. I will change, to a better person. I'm not asking you to believe my words because I'm going to prove you wrong. If my mum does not approve of him, what's the point of staying on? It's been two days since we last talk. I accidentally unprivate  my blog and Hanis read it. So tell me, were you using me yesterday? Yes, you were. But it's ok, I'm used to it already. You want us to be bestfriend? Okay, have it your way. Because I don't want to make my mum sad already. I want to study hard in ite and make sure I get myself into a poly because I hate ite so much. It's been so long I stayed single, so I'm doing it now. Good luck Rita.

Tomorrow is my medical checkup and I'm scared if there is any injections. I heard that you need to be naked in there. It freaks me out every time I think a bout it. I want school to start soon so that I don't have to think much. Even before school starts I'm already counting down the days I'm going to end ite life.